We Were Lovers
by Shadow Dancer666
Summary: Reno must face his past if he wants to be able to understand what is happening in the present. RudexReno. //INDEFINITELY SUSPENDED BY AUTHOR//
1. Chapter 1

**Title: We Were Lovers**

**Pairing: RudexReno**

**Rating: M for sex and disturbing images**

**Disclaimer: i do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of their characters, all i do is screw with their lives.**

There are some things in life that cannot be understood unless they have been experienced. Like the adrenaline rush during a life threatening situation, or the excitement turned to horror of your first murder. The things you have nightmares about, the memories that haunt you forever. One can only find comfort in the cold embrace of another with blood on his hands. Fortunately, I found a warm embrace, tender lips, and a comfortable bed. I had Rude.

The scent of organic rich coffee filled my nose and began the daunting task of waking up my muddled mind. I hate mornings with an undying passion, but the smell of coffee threatened to make this a good one, even if it is five in the morning. I pulled the soft downy blanket over my head in an attempt to avoid the inevitable, but alas my partner in life and work came to wake me up. I heard him approach, yet I still pretended to be asleep. He sat on the bed and began to rub my back. Damn, how I love these back rubs.

" Reno, we gotta get ready for work."

"Hmph," I replied.

"C'mon, we get to escort the President to a high risk speech in Junon. You even get to fly the chopper."

I wasn't going to fall for his enticing words; I knew it was going to be a boring day. Rude just sighed.

"All right, Reno, have it your way."

Rude pulled his hand away and I snuggled further into the pillow. Then I felt his hot breath brush my neck as he kissed a particularly sensitive nerve.

"Let's have a quickie," he whispered huskily causing goose bumps to cover my body. It looked like it _would_ be a good morning.

He pulled off the covers to reveal my naked legs and his oversized shirt covering the rest of my body. I rolled over to face Rude and his lips covered mine instantly. He tasted like the powdered donuts he obviously stole from my junk food cabinet, but I'd get him for that later. I was a little occupied right now. I appreciated Rude's eagerness considering that _I _probably tasted like last night's beer and I hadn't showered from our late night activities. It didn't seem to bother him one bit.

I heard him squeeze lube on his fingers before the pleasurable feeling of two fingers pushing into my body caused me to buck my hips.

"Ngh, ah, Rude! M-more!"

He purposely stroked my prostrate causing my entire body to shake in anticipation. He lifted both of my legs and placed them on his broad shoulders, then proceeded to shove his impossibly large cock into my ass. As soon as he was hilt deep I released the breath I didn't know I was holding. I felt so full, so right and I had the hardest time remembering how to breathe. I looked up and noticed that Rude's gorgeous eyes weren't hidden behind dark glass this time and his gaze made me feel wanted. At that moment, breathing was no longer important; getting him to move was!

"M-move, dammit!"

He began to thrust and, oh good Shiva! Lights danced across my vision and I helplessly heard myself screaming and moaning with pleasure. The only sounds Rude was making were his harsh breathing and our flesh smacking. He never made much noise, but I vaguely recalled him saying that my being noisy turned him on.

He continued to mercilessly thrust, hitting the right spot every time, and too soon I screamed his name and reached my climax. A few minutes later my mind reconnected and I was aware that Rude had already begun to clean up. I sat up gingerly and stared long and hard at him; he never faltered.

"Good morning, donut thief," I greeted.

"You got ten minutes to get ready or I'm leaving your ass behind."

"Shit!"

Fifteen minutes later, Rude was driving us to the illustrious Shinra Tower. I was in the back seat sipping my now cold tea and dabbing my still dripping hair with a towel.

"Why don't you switch to drinking tea, Rude? You're, like, a health freak, yo, an' tea is supposed to be healthier, so what gives?"

He glanced back at me through the rearview mirror.

"I like the taste of coffee. Besides, its smell is the only way to wake your sorry ass up each morning. I should ask why you don't drink coffee if it's so 'unhealthy'?"

I said nothing; instead, I set my empty cup down and began to comb the tangles out of my hair with my wide toothed comb. Rude took the hint and remained quiet. I looked at my hair in the mirror when I was done and sighed.

"Rude, I need some more peroxide and hair color."

"Already?!"

"Yo, how long have you known me?"

"Damn, you go through hair dye like you go through chicken wings."

"It's all for beauty, baby."

Rude just shook his head. He'd already suggested toning down the intensity of the red in my hair to save money, but after so many years of my favorite color, he knew I would never submit and change it.

We arrived at the tower on time; Rude went to get the Boss and I went to prepare my precious baby. I checked over the helicopter for any sabotages; once I was satisfied and turned on the ignition, I cranked up the radio and just chilled. I had left one of my CD's in the player and I enjoyed soaking in the rough music. Rude approached with the Boss and smacked my forehead as he hopped in.

"Are we all ready to party, yo?"

Rufus rolled his eyes and Rude nodded.

"Well, hold on to your panties, girls, we have take off!"

I pulled down my goggles (purely out of habit), and proceeded to take my chopper straight up and into the cold dark sky. The stars twinkled happily amidst the dark blue of the early morning sky, and I continued to head bang to my CD. I watched Rufus go through reports meticulously while Rude imitated a statue. I looked at the mirror and blew him a kiss. He didn't budge. I winked and stuck my tongue out. Nothing. I mouthed dirty words to him. Maybe he blinked? I was about to put my pouty "give me sex" face, but Rufus interrupted.

" Reno, would you concentrate on your flying. You're annoying me."

"Sorry, Boss, I was just tryin' to keep Rude awake."

"Sure you were."

I gave Rude one last wink before turning my attention to the color-changing sky. I felt at peace. You know what? I was freakin' lucky. I was living happily with my boyfriend who happened to be the best partner a Turk could hope for, I got a great pay, I enjoyed my job, and I was able to fly my pretty little beauty. My hands instinctively guided her to our destination as my eyes took in the sight of the rising sun. The orange glow reminded me of someone I knew a long time ago.

Wow, that was strange. I haven't thought about him in a fucking long time, which is actually quite sad. He was always in my heart, but I guess that it hurt too much to think about him all the time; the man with the gold Phoenix tattooed on his back.

"Shit! Reno, watch the hell where you're landing!"

I jerked my attention back to landing my chopper.

"Fuck, Rude, don't scare me like that! I thought something was wrong."

"Landing without looking where you're landing IS something wrong!"

"No it's not; I do it all the fucking time!"

"Enough!" Rufus looked at us both. "Let's be professional, children, shall we?" "Yes, Boss," me and Rude replied.

Rude went out first and made sure everything was clear while I turned off the chopper and got all readied up.

"It's clear, Reno."

"Okie dokie! Let's go, Boss!"

I surveyed the area as a walked beside the President and Rude stepped in on his other side. We escorted him into his Junon office where he had another boring meeting about the economy and other shit like that. I tried to stifle my yawns, but most of them got through anyway.

Next, we escorted Rufus to the harbor where he was to speak at a convention for environmentally friendly people. He was going to talk about the dangers of using the Mako reactors and instead offering the cleaner energy of hydroelectricity and other stuff. Crap, I just hoped I wouldn't fall asleep this time. This was the meeting we had to be careful with. Some fanatics were pissed off that the head of Shinra, who actually used the Mako reactors, was going to be speaking today and we were just making sure that they didn't do anything regrettable to him.

Everything went quite smoothly, so I decided to let my attention relax for a few minutes. I scanned the crowd lazily while Rufus made his perfect little speech and my mind went back to thinking. I wondered if Rude ever thought about him. I'd have to ask him a little later. My unusually sharp eyes picked up the glint of metal purely by accident. In a tall building several blocks away, I saw the glint of a gun, and I ran on instinct. I sprinted towards Rufus in the middle of his speech and actually tackled him to the floor behind the podium. At that exact moment, I heard the bullet hit the wooden "No fishing" sign right behind where Rufus was standing.

People started screaming and all of the security began to quickly take care of the situation. The important people were quickly taken to a safe place while the other people were escorted out of the harbor. I guarded Rufus carefully as I told Rude what I saw over our headpiece.

"Hey, partner, I'm takin' the Boss back to the chopper, we're gonna leave soon. Let the police know about the shooter in that tall building!"

"Which tall building?"

"The big brown one!"

" Reno, they're all fucking big brown ones! Be specific!"

I paused, keeping my body between the building and Rufus. I spotted the name of the building painted sloppily across the top: Junon Harbor Business Center.

"It's the Junon Harbor Business Cent-"

Another shot rang out and I stumbled backward. I looked down and saw the beautiful red spreading across my shirt. That mother fucker shot me! And with a high powered distant rifle nonetheless! I heard Rude scream my name, but I waved him back. I knew my job, and I'll be damned if I couldn't fulfill it.

"Take care of the assassin, Rude," I yelled over the headpiece.

"B-but, Ren-"

"Just do it!"

At the same time I was taking a stunned Rufus to our chopper in the distance. He was staring at the blood soaking my shirt and suit jacket, and I couldn't really blame him; it looked pretty bad, but I couldn't bring myself to care just yet. The Boss's safety was all I was concerned with right now. That and the fact that I couldn't really breathe right at the moment.

By the time we made it to the chopper, I was feeling kind of funny. You know, like you just can't seem to get the air into your body and your head is spinning. I just realized that I was lying on the cement of the launch pad; I must have fallen. Rufus was standing over me, but I couldn't understand what he was saying.

"Get in the fucking c-chopper," I sputtered. Oh shit, blood was coming out of my mouth. For some reason, I wasn't really scared. I knew that this might be it for me, that I might die right here and now. It was funny how the only thing I regretted was being such a jackass to Rude all the time. Maybe I should have been nicer.

As Rufus began to fade out of my vision, he was replaced with that golden Phoenix. Did he feel the same way when he died? I reached out to touch that beautiful back once more.

"Kyran Vanslow," I whispered. Everything went black.

/// Awareness flooded my senses, overwhelming me for a few seconds. I heard people bustling, calling out for anesthetics and other medicines, machines were running and keeping people alive, and I could smell the sterile rooms. My eyes opened and I was nearly blinded with the glaring lights in the white room.

"Ah, shit, I hate hospitals," I cursed. I've been in them too many times to be surprised with where I was.

"Good evening, strawberry."

I winced at that horrid nickname that Rude only used on special occasions.

"Did I die and go to hell?" I inquired.

I looked over and saw Rude sitting next to me. A small smile formed on his perfect, plump lips.

"You still got a report to write, so Rufus threatened Odin and had him send you back up here."

I chuckled.

"That's actually quite believable, ya know."

"How are you feeling?"

I looked down and saw the bandaging across my chest, and sighed. Ok, that hurt.

"I'm just feeling a little sore, but overall I'm fine. How bad was it?"

"Well, you lost a lot of blood before we could get you here, but their biggest concern was all the blood you got in your lungs. The bullet penetrated your right lung and hit an artery. You were drowning in your own blood, but of course, your luck saved you and here you are."

"Hey, that's not too bad. Are you ready to go home?" Rude raised an eyebrow. "C'mon! You know that I don't like hospitals, besides, I'm feeling pretty good! Oh, and is the Boss all right?"

Rude nodded his head. "Yeah, the President is doing fine, although he's still in a little bit of a shock. He'll be ok." He gave me a hard long look, before finally drooping his head in defeat. "Fine, let's go home."

"Yeah, baby! And let's get some Wutaiese tonight!"

Rude helped me sneak out of the hospital and he humored me and ordered Wutaiese take-out. We sat on our bed naked under the sheets, eating our chicken fried rice and cashew chicken. The only light illuminating the room was the small lamp on the bedside table. I poured the last bit of my cashew chicken on Rude's stomach and I made sure not to waste any bit of it. There was no better flavor than Rude. Once I finished licking his stomach clean, I leaned onto my back, to take the stress off of my painful chest.

"Hey, Rude."

"Uh huh," he answered with a mouthful of rice.

"Do you think of Kyran often?"

"Kyran Vanslow?"

"Yeah."

He looked thoughtful. "I do think of him, but I try not to think about him too long. There are too many sad memories surrounding him, and I would rather think about my happiness now."

"But, baby, there were so many happy times with him too."

He looked at me straight in the eye (at least I think he did; stupid sunglasses) and I felt my stomach flutter.

" Reno, those times just don't compare to what we have now. Not by a long shot."

"Awwww, how shweet!" I overdramatically hugged him and pretended to cry like a virgin girl getting her prince charming.

He smacked my ass softly before he set down his rice and gave me a tender kiss. I kissed him back with as much passion as I could. Rude was so right; our times back then were nothing compared to what we had now. And I could almost thank any god for my happy life. Rude started to rub my thighs firmly, but stopped himself.

"Rude, I can take it," I whispered between kisses. "Besides, you know how horny I get after missions."

"Just don't cry to me in the morning."

"Deal."

Food forgotten, Rude and I began to pleasure ourselves with each others body. Our touches were sensual and loving, and we lasted well into the night. I ignored all pain from the bullet wound instead focusing on the pleasure Rude offered to me. I just loved the feel of him in me, caressing my soul almost. I know I'm way underweight and my body shouldn't have been able to handle his, but it somehow did. He felt perfect in me, and there is nothing better in the whole damn world.

"Ah, ungh, Rude, baby! J-just a little m-more!"

He nodded with his sun glasses nearly sliding right off of his face because of the sweat. I grabbed the glassesand threw them across the room. I wanted to seehis goddamn beautiful eyes! I loved them! I loved him! I threw my head back as my orgasm hit and screamed in ecstasy.

"Rude, I love you!"

He grunted as he thrust once more and released deep inside of me. He smoothed back my sweat soaked hair and kissed my forehead.

"I love you too," he whispered. "Sleep well tonight, and I'll buy your hair stuff tomorrow."

"Thanks."

We held on to each other side by side and he continued to stroke my hair (gods I loved that!) until I finally drifted into the world of dreams.

/// Ugh, was it morning already? Didn't I already mention that I hate mornings. I didn't smell any coffee, so maybe I didn't have to get up today. The light from the window danced on my eyelids, but I didn't open them. I was not going to get up, and nothing Rude could say would change my mind. Unless, of course, he offered another quickie. I smiled to myself, but Rude never came to wake me up. That bastard probably already went to work and left me to find my own ride. Maybe I'd take my bike; haven't used that in a while.

I continued to laze in bed, but I started to feel a little sick. I felt sticky and still kind of wet. Damn, you would think everything would have dried by now. I felt a drop of something cold and wet fall on my face jerking me into consciousness. What the hell? I opened my eyes and stared at the bed sheets for a minute. I thought that I was seeing large red flower prints all over the sheets; then I realized that the bed was soaked with blood.

"Shit!"

I sat up with my heart pounding when my head hit something soft and wet. I froze and looked up slowly and my heart stopped. This wasn't right, I'm still dreaming, GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING DREAM! I stared open mouthed at Rude's limp body hanging from the ceiling by the tie I got him for his birthday this year. His body was covered in blood and I could see lacerations everywhere. Even his boxers were covered in blood.

"T-this isn't f-funny, yo," I choked. "Wh-what the hell is g-goin' on?"

His body swung slightly from my hitting his foot. I reached out and lightly touched his leg. It was cold and sticky, and I could see the blood slowly dripping off of it. I touched my face with a sickening realization; I was covered in his blood. I looked at my body and saw all of his precious blood painting my body, mocking me.

"No, no, this isn't real, this is not fucking real!"

I slowly slid off of the bed and walked around to see his face. I needed to see if this imposter really looked like Rude. I stood in front of the corpse and I could feel all of my blood draining from my face. Those gorgeous eyes were open; his nose had slight indentions from overusing sunglasses. Those perfect ears had so many fucking piercings; no fucking way! I stood on the edge of the bed and pulled down this body that looked so much like Rude, but there was no way it was him. Just no way. We had made love last night after eating some great Chinese food. He said he loved me. He was going to buy all my hair stuff today and we were going to go to work for Rufus Shinra. We were going to clean this mess up, take this imposter away, and go back to living our lives like we were.

I felt that familiar weight on me as the body rested on the bed with my lap as a pillow. I tried to deny that it felt so familiar. I stroked the bald head gently trying to deny this entire thing.

I waited. I really did, but it seemed that every fucking second that passed was telling me that this wasn't a dream. I felt the hot tears coming down my cheeks, but I tried to ignore them telling myself over and over that this would all be fixed up soon. Rude would know what to do with this imposter; he always knew what to do. Before I realized it, I was sobbing hysterically fighting a losing battle to keep my composure. I noticed the small tattoo that was right below the pant line. I read it slowly, trying to believe it wasn't so. In flowing script " Reno" was tattooed on the man's flesh. I looked down at my own tattoo. The one that said "Rude".

It was then that I broke. This mockery of the man I love and care for_was_ the man I love and care for. This was Rude.

My mind shattered.

**i just couldn't get this story out of my mind, so here it is. all glorious angst! please review and let me know what you think!**

**Reno: "You _killed_ Rude?!"**

**Rude: "You _killed_ me?!"**

**shadowdancer666: "Uh, well, you're my muses. you tell me what to write." /sweatdrop/**

**Reno: "I said 'Rude needs to be _chilled_!' Like all Zen and shit! Not _killed_!"**

**shadowdancer666: 0.0 "Oh, shit..."**


	2. Chapter 2

**thanks for being patient! this chapter is a little short, but i don't think it would have been wise to go further. i hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: i don't own any of the characters except my own (Kyran and Eliam)  
**

I pressed m lips to the cold lips of my lover. I tasted blood strongly but I ignored it. I just wanted him to kiss me back; was that too much to fucking ask! I pulled away and a fresh wave of tears poured from my eyes.

"Dear Shiva, Reno!" I numbly looked up and saw Elena standing at the doorway with one hand over her mouth. "What did you do?!"

I looked at all of the blood covering me and sobbed. This was Rude's precious blood wasted on covering me.

"I lost h-him," I hiccupped.

I cradled his head in my arms barely registering Elena puking in my hallway. It didn't even bother me that she had entered into my house without my knowing. I heard her rush out and I couldn't bring myself to care one bit.

_//flashback//_

"_Reno, listen to me," Senior Turk Eliam commanded, "since you are having trouble working with partners, we've decided to set you up with a more experienced Turk. He is far better than any newbie and you need to respect him."_

"_C'mon, yo," I drawled fidgeting in the brand spanking new suit, "I don't work with others well, they just get in my fucking way! I don't need a partner."_

"_Every Turk gets a partner; deal with it."_

_We walked into the Senior Turk coffee room, and I set eyes on a large man wearing sunglasses. Indoors. I begged to Shiva that he wasn't my partner. I didn't want a freak like him! Besides he was so uptight and he looked as serious as a marble statue. I glanced around at the rest of the Senior Turks who seemed vaguely interested in me and Eliam._

"_Rude, come over here," Eliam commanded._

_I audiably groaned when the big guy walked over._

"_Aw, you got ta be kiddin' me, Eliam! This guy's got a ten foot pole shoved up his ass and he's wearing sunglasses indoors! I don't wanna partner like him!"_

_Eliam gave me an unrelenting stare._

"_You brought this upon yourself, Reno." He turned and faced my new partner. "Rude, this is Junior Turk Class A, Reno. He has issues with authority and partners. We trust that you can handle him."_

_The bald guy gave me a look of disgust (I think… stupid sunglasses!) before he cleared his throat and spoke._

"_My name is Rude. I'm a Senior Turk Class C."_

_He stretched out his hand in a gesture of a handshake, and I just stared at him incredulously._

"_I got to work with this prick!" I yelled. "No fucking way, yo!"_

_Rude visibly flinched at my harsh language. A few of the other Senior Turks snickered._

"_Hey, Eliam, who's the rookie?" a voice asked from behind us. "Is this the illegitimate child you've been hiding from us?"_

_Eliam rolled his eyes and I bristled. Who dared to call me a rookie?! I wheeled around and came face to face with a pink haired, purpled eyed girl. Er, guy. I had no fucking clue what I was looking at._

_//end flashback//_

I wondered why people just didn't leave me alone. The front door was slammed open and the sound of many feet rushing in my direction filled the air. People flooded the room and began yelling instructions at each other. Someone approached me and tried talking to me, but I couldn't understand a word he said. I just held rude tighter and rocked myself back and forth. The tears never seemed to stop.

"Reno." The familiar voice cut through the have of pain. I looked up and saw Tseng standing next to the bed. He looked too pale, yet his body language appeared as calm as ever. "Reno, you need to get out of here. This is now an official crime scene."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I tried not to let go of Rude, but I was so tired; I couldn't even walk beside Tseng. He held me up and dragged me out of the apartment. As he took me down the stars, Tseng explained that I was the main suspect as Rude's murderer and that I needed to answer some questions at the police station.

"Just wait for your lawyer, and Rufus will have you out in no time." I nodded, and he sat me down in the back of a police car. "Reno, please try not to do anything stupid. If everything goes according to plan, you'll be out by the end of the day, and we can start the investigation tomorrow."

"Investigation?" I whispered.

"The Turks have been given permission to head their own search for Rude's murderer." I looked Tseng straight in the eye. "I want you on the team, Reno, but you have to prove yourself ready."

"I will be," I said with a strange confidence.

Once I reached the police station, I was treated as part of the crime scene. They tok pictures of every angle of my body and my clothes. They took DNA samples and semen samples from me and Rude's love making. I was treated roughly, as if I were the undisputed murderer, but sucked it up and took it. I focused on all of the discomforts; anything that would keep my mind off of Rude. Soon enough I would get my hands on the real criminal and I would have my sweet revenge.

A few hours later, I bad been bathed and given white slacks and a white T-shirt. They were even nice enough to re-bandage my chest. I was now seated in front of two officers and next to me sat my layer, Mrs. Kim.

"Mr. Reno, what was your relationship with the victim?"

When my lawyer nodded I replied. "We were partners on the job as Turks and we were lovers at home."

"Lovers you say?"

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"Did you two get into an argument?"

I rolled my eyes at the man's sad attempt to get e to confess to the murder. He had no idea how to _really_ interrogate someone. I've been on the both sides of a true interrogation, and some sorry punk wasn't going to get me to confess to something I didn't do. Especially something like killing Rude.

"No, we haven't had an argument in at least a year."

"Really?"

I was starting to get pissed. I was not going to repeat every word I said just to clarify it for this moron. I glanced at my lawyer and she piped up.

"My client feels it is unnecessary to repeat what he told you, and I agree. Please, move on to the next question."

"All right, ma'am. Mr. Reno, it says on this paper that you only weigh one hundred and ten pounds. Can you tell me what drugs you are taking?"

I wanted to scream in frustration. I haven't been on any kind of drug for over ten years. I had been fighting anorexia for years and Rude had been there every step of the way. And now…

"Mr. Reno, answer the question," the officer insisted.

"I don't take any drugs. I've been dealing with anorexia."

"Anorexia? I find that hard to believe."

"And why is that, yo?! 'Cause it's easier to believe tha I'm a drug addict who killed my lover while I was high?!"

Mrs. Kim grabbed my arm.

"That's enough, Reno. If this is all you have on my client, then I'm afraid we're done here, officer."

"Ma'am, your client was at the crime scene, covered in the victim's blood! I find it improbable that Mr. Reno was covered in that much if he had nothing to do with the murder! There was too much blood for him not to have done it! Besides, there wasn't even a scratch on him. Why would someone go in, murder the victim, and leave Mr. Reno alive and unharmed. All while he was 'sleeping'!"

"Sir, if you do not have solid proof, we will take our leave."

"The blood IS solid proof!"

"Good evening."

I was led out of the interrogation by Mrs. Kim. I was a little surprised; could we really leave?

"Don't worry, Reno, they don't really have proof yet, so they can't keep you here. Yet, that is. The real killer needs to be found or they WILL be able to put you away for a long time."

I nodded. I was going to get that murderer if it was the last thing I did!

Since I couldn't go home yet, Mrs. Kim drove me to the new Shinra headquarters. The sun was setting by the time we arrived so I headed straight up to the dorms. The empty halls of the Turk's dorms made me feel sick. I could see the ghosts of past Turks wandering the halls, some causing trouble, others just ready to hit the sack. I headed towards the room me and Rude had set up for emergencies. Tears welled up in my eyes as my mind went back to this morning. I walked to the drawer against the far wall and looked through the clothes it held. Rude had folded my clothes along with his, 'cause he knew I wouldn't do it. I stripped out of the cheap jail garb and grabbed one of Rude's dress shirts; I pressed it to my nose and I could still smell him on it. After a minute I slipped it on, then I grabbed his cologne from the top of the drawer and a picture that showed us hugging in front of the newly built Shinra headquarters. I let the tears fall once again as I crawled under the covers of our bed. I sobbed uncontrollably as I held his things close.

_//flashback//_

_I stared dumbstruck at the strange person standing in front of me._

"_Well, he's a pretty cute illegitimate child! Can I have him, Eliam? Pretty please?"_

"_Kyran, quit scaring the new guy. He's still mostly san, so let him be."_

_A big mischievous grin spread across this Kyran's face._

"_Oh, so you're a virgin, mini Turk?"_

_I balked._

"_I'm not a virgin!" I screeched. My face was burning with embarrassment and the room was full of laughter. "And who the hell are you calling a mini Turk, yo?"_

"_Reno, calm yourself," interrupted Eliam. "You shouldn't take Kyran seriously. Most of the time, he's just trying to make you lose your cool."_

"He_?" I looked him over once more. Yup, high heels, a Turk issue mini skirt, and hair clips._

"_Kyran, you know that you're not supposed to be wearing drag at work."_

"_I know," he whined, "but it drives the higher ups crazy! In a good way! Why do you think that our department gets the most raises?" He tilted his head to the side in a cutely confused manner. Before I could tell him that the Turks were actually the department with the least raises, he began rambling all over again. "Oh, hey, Rudo! Is this your new partner? He's got some crazy red hair! It's the total opposite of your lack of hair! That's so cool!"_

_I looked back at Rude and saw him shake his head, before I turned back to Kyran._

"_You think _I _got crazy hair? You've got fucking _pink_ hair! Pink!"_

"_But, it's not as bright as your hair," he pointed out._

_Before I could wrap my hands around his throat, Eliam grabbed my arm and turned me to face Rude._

"_Focus, Reno; this is Rude, your partner. Your stuff has been moved to his room, and he can show you the ropes. Your first simulated mission will be at one this afternoon. Don't be late."_

_With that, Eliam strode out of the coffee room leaving a very worked up red-head, a stoic bald guy, and a transvestite. Kyran decided that it was probably time for him to go._

"_See you around, mini Turk! My partner's probably looking for me right now! Hee hee! I bet he still thinks we're playing hide-and-seek!"_

_Then Kyran ran off in his freakin' high heels._

"_What the hell is wrong with you people!" I yelled in frustration._

"_Listen up," Rude barked completely ignoring my outburst, "All Junior Turks and rookies are called mini Turks up here, so get used to it." I glared venom at him. "Next, you're in the higher ups area, so show some respect."_

"_I'll show respect when I see something to respect."_

"_Third, I am your senior officer, obey my every word."_

"_Fuck off."_

"_Fourth, the next time I hear an obscenity leave your mouth, I'll break your nose."_

"…_.. What kind of pansy are you?"_

_Rude continued to stand there with perfect posture staring at me. I just stared back. _

"_Mini Turk, welcome to hell," was the only thing he said._

_//end flashback//_

**please review and let me know what you think! from here on out, things are going to be quite interesting...**__


	3. Chapter 3

**victory music/ yay!!!!! i worked really hard on this with all the betaing and whatnot. please enjoy, and also, MHEA 7 will follow fairly soon...**

** Disclaimer: i do not own Square-Enix's characters, i just screw with their lives.  
**

_The sickening sound of crunching metal and support beams whined under the pressure before snapping. Heat brushed past my bruised cheeks, singeing the tips of my bangs as the metal at the explosion site bubbled like molten lead. The Sector 7 plate began tilting. The noise was excruciating!! I looked down, and, with my sharp eyes, and I picked up the form of a little girl. She looked up, right into my eyes. She was scared, her tiny arms crushing a dirty moogle doll against her chest. _

_Then the remaining columns collapsed. The entire structure caved in on itself, the large metallic plate dropping like a rock in a pond. My eyes widened at the catastrophic beauty as blood dripped out of my ears from the loud sounds. The screams came from both the upper plate inhabitants and the lower plate people; yes they were people, and they shrieked as they watched death sweep over them. It seemed as if I could hear each individual voice; a mother with three small children, a boy who dreamed of becoming a doctor, a man with his newlywed wife, and that girl. The little girl screamed just before the debris swallowed her up followed by the plate itself. _

_My grip on the rung of the ladder hanging out of the Shinra helicopter loosened. Fires erupted and clouds of dust came up blinding me. However, I could still hear the screams. Regardless of the choking dust, a laugh escaped my lips. I could only laugh to block out the noise, laughing so hard to escape it. Tears of anguish ran down my cheeks as my insane laughter echoed._

_--- _

I shot up in my bed sobbing and shaking. I gasped for breath and closed my eyes, but the faces, all of their faces, I saw them! Both hands pressed on my ears, trying to stop the screaming that ringed there, and my eyes went wide just so I wouldn't see their faces beneath my eyelids. I pulled my knees up to my chest trying to pull myself together. I looked over my shoulder, surprised that Rude hadn't woken up yet.

Like a punch to my gut, I noticed that the bed was empty and that I was alone. This was the first time since that day that I had to face my night terrors without anyone. By Odin, I couldn't stop my damn hands from shaking! Another sob came out choked and painful. This was so fucking hard! I missed him so much!!! In the dark of the room, I rocked back and forth by myself, letting out the tears like a frightened child. This must be my damn punishment; my karma.

I forced myself to get out of bed. Odin, my limbs were so stiff and still shuddering from my night terror. My pale fingers turned the water on to a steaming blast and I stepped in the shower, still wearing Rude's shirt that I had put on the night before.

The water hit my body forcing a gasp of pain; the heat was harsh against my cold skin, sending wave after wave of stinging pressure. I placed both hands on the slick tile of the wall and took the mind numbing agony. My mind needed to focus, to get itself together. It needed to be fucking strong. I was going to catch the piece of shit that killed Rude. I was going to make that bastard suffer when I laid my hands on him. There was no way a woman could have done that, not something that cruel, and nearly impossible. But that bastard had to be good since he killed a highly skilled Turk without waking up his lover, another formidable fighter.

The guilt stung at my heart again. How could I have slept through such a brutal murder? My duty was to always have his back, but I failed. He is dead. Guilt and overwhelming wrath flooded through my body. Immediately I switched the knob to full blast cold. My yelp echoed through the bathroom as the shock of temperature change hit me like a brick in the face. I got the desired effect.

"Come on Reno! Get yourself together!" I screamed at myself. "You need to kill that motherfucker, and you can't do it if you can't even control your own emotions!"

I rotated the knob, turning the water to a warm temperature so that I could properly wash my hair, and get all of the knots out. The memories of our showers together forced me to quicken my pace, and I was done within five minutes. I wrung the water out of Rude's shirt as I rubbed my body with a soft towel.

My mind began to organize all the data I knew about the case. So far, I was the only suspect because I was covered in his blood, and I was the only one in the area. That and the fact that I was his lover made me a number one suspect. It was only logical, 'cause murders usually required a motive and how can you have a motive if you don't know the person? I knew Rude very well, so the blame would fall on me first, that's just how it was.

Next, he probably died from blood loss. There were too many cuts, which makes it so weird. Forcing my photographic mind to remember the body, I could see that only some of the cuts were deep. Others just seemed extraneous. Now why would someone make unnecessary injuries? A possible explanation would be an agenda. This guy really had it in for Rude. But Rude would've fought back…

I walked to the bedroom and got dressed in a spare uniform. There was a note on the bed from Tseng telling me to grab some breakfast and to come to the conference room. I opted to skip breakfast and go straight to where I was instructed. The dull ache of hunger was a welcomed pain; it would help me focus. Once I made it to the room, Tseng and Rufus who had been sitting there speaking quietly abruptly stopped and turned their attention to me.

"Good morning, Reno," Tseng began, being too polite.

"It's not that good," I mumbled. "Anyway, what do we got? I want all the files on the case."

Rufus pointed to a stack of paper on a large table and I walked over to collect them. His pale blue eyes watched my every move as if he expected me to lose it all of a sudden and try to eat him. A low sigh escaped my lips as that thought crossed my mind. What reason would I have to attack him? My loyalties were for him, and always have been. I would rather kill myself than hurt my boss.

"Did you get some breakfast?" Tseng questioned.

"Yeah," I whispered, the lie slipping past my dry lips easily. If anything, lying was my strongest skill. Even Rude hadn't been able to completely tell if I was speaking the truth or not.

"Reno, listen to me," Rufus asked his eyes never moving from me. He waited for me to look him in the eye before he continued. "The Turks do not tolerate anyone killing their own, and this bastard killed one of our best. He needs to be found and brought in. I want him to suffer, painfully and slowly. Can you do that?"

A small smile worked its way to my lips. That's Rufus for you, always dishing out revenge a hundred fold. Not only that, but he didn't sound pitying or any shit like that. He wanted me to do a job, one that I had grown very good at, and hell would freeze over before I was going to fail this time.

"Yes, sir. That bastard's ass is mine, and I ain't gonna give it a good time either, yo."

I could see the smile behind my boss's stone face. He was glad to hear me sounding a little more like myself. Tseng checked his cell phone before looking back to me.

"Reno, the first thing I want you to do is go through all of that information. While you're doing that, I'll be going through the crime scene." He shot a quick glance at Rufus. "But by six this evening, I want you to stop. I need you to go to the morgue." His eyes shut tightly as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't want to ask you to do this, but I think you should go see the body. Once the coroner gets through with the autopsy, he is going to cremate the body. I want you to have a chance to give any last respects to Rude."

My throat tightened painfully at the thought of seeing my man cut open, his organs in some pan. I wondered why they were going to have his body cremated instead of having a proper burial, but I couldn't bring myself to ask. I nodded stiffly before turning to leave. I paused and looked over my shoulder, forcing out the only words I could.

"C-can I have the ashes?"

"Of course," Rufus replied. "And get some breakfast."

I looked down and walked out quickly, my arms full of papers. I set them all on my desk and grabbed an orange to make my boss happy. The first page on the large pile stared at me ominously with black inky letters. The peel of the orange fell down piece by piece with a soft thud.

---

"_All right, the objective is simple enough," Senior Turk Gotsem sighed. "All you have to do is rescue the hostage on the third floor. He's being tortured so you have to hurry, but be very careful. The entire place is being surveyed and there are some well trained opponents. Any questions?"_

_My big bald idiot of a partner shook his head in a negative while I continued staring at a spot on the wall. I put my pinky finger into my ear and fidgeted._

"_C'mon, let's just go already!" I whined. "'S not that friggin' hard."_

_Gotsem rolled his eyes and gave us our guns. They were like big ass laser tag guns. They wouldn't do permanent damage, but they gave a pretty strong jolt when you got hit, and they kept the records of who hit whom and how much. Damn, I wish they would let us use real guns._

"_Well, since you guys are ready, have at it."_

_The gate opened and we entered into the large room with a house sitting in the middle. A fence surrounded the grounds and several guards were patrolling. They had bigger and better guns than we did. My eyes finished scanning the area and I snorted._

"_By Shiva's frozen tits, this is too easy…"_

_Rude shot a glance at me._

"_Shhh! Do you want them to hear you, idiot?" his harsh whisper brushed my cheek._

"_Let me do this, pansy. I'll get this guy and be out of there in no time."_

"_No. This is a job for the both of us. Now let's start by finding the quietest route—"_

_I never let him finish. Instead I got up and ran right up to the fence, jumping over it easily. I landed behind the first guard and took him out with a quick snap to a pressure point in the neck. He collapsed soundlessly and I grinned. I saw my "partner" running to me with an 'I'll-kill-you' look, but I ignored him and kept going. The guards were nothing as I snuck past some and took out the others. _

_Rude kept trying to get my attention, but I ignored him. He was the type of guy to stick to the books and there was no way that I was going to follow that bull shit. My gut instincts always let me know what to do and they weren't going to fail now._

"_Stop!" _

_I caught his harsh whisper in my ear quite effortlessly and I thought about just breaking into the house as I planned, but he had gotten on my last nerve. Couldn't he see that I was getting the job done? I turned around, leveled my gun right at his forehead, and fired without a second thought._

_--- _

I pored through report after report with more attention and energy than I'd ever given in my life. The pictures were spread all across the floor with me sitting at the center of the mess. I worked better sitting on the floor than at a desk; there was more space, and I could sprawl out in different positions.

The information was also spread before me in a corona of paper. My thin, pale fingers picked through the sheets as my eyes scanned them all, copying each of them into the film of my mind. Although the information was there, it was all too random and nonsensical. There was no murder weapon found, but the cuts along Rude's body where bound to at least identify a weapon.

There was no sign of a forced entry, and there were no fingerprints other than Rude's and mine. The rest of the house was in order, and not a single thing was stolen or disturbed. All windows were locked and the neighbors didn't hear a thing. The only thing that stuck out and seemed strange was in the bathroom. On the large mirror over the sink, the words, "It's not fair, that's why you will die," were written in pink lipstick.

"Damn, it's in my fucking handwriting," I mumbled.

But it didn't make sense. Pink lipstick? No, there was absolutely no fucking way a woman did that to Rude. It just was not possible. The reports stated that the scientists were examining the lipstick and that they would have the chemical compound soon enough. With that they would be able to find the corresponding brand and then a list of the stores that sold it. After that…well, who knows? It might somehow help the case; one never underestimates the power of evidence, especially when the evidence was pointing at you.

I nibbled on one of my knuckles trying hard to see some kind of connection in all of this. There had to be something that would stick out, something that would help me find the real killer. I was one hundred percent sure that I didn't do it. I may have done my share of killing, but Rude…I couldn't even think about it. At that moment, my cell phone rang, making me jump and sending the papers flying.

"Shit!" I flicked it open effectively stopping the Kung Fu theme song ringtone in the middle. "Yes, Tseng?"

"It's almost six o'clock, so I thought that I would give you a call. I'm sure that you weren't paying attention to the time."

"Thanks! All right, I'll head down now."

"Will you be ok? Do you want me to send someone with you?"

I couldn't help but shake my head at the sincere care that Tseng gave me. He had always been strict, yet caring. "Naw, I'll be fine, yo. Thanks for the offer, though."

"All right, just please don't push yourself. Once you're done you should get some dinner and some rest."

"That's fine with me."

"See you later."

"Cool."

I hung up first, never the type to wait for the other. My impatience was well known by others, and my life could almost be defined by it. I forced my numb legs to support me as I stood up and hopped over the papers and the files. I stretched my sore limbs while I tried to keep myself calm. I've already seen the body, so it shouldn't be a big deal. My stomach tightened painfully, and my heart felt withered and dead.

The stairs leading down to the morgue seemed unnaturally long and dark. It was so easy to fall back into those memories, to all the pleasure, to all the pain. My life had always been a rollercoaster, and I shouldn't have expected it to change. That was my fault, and that's why it hurt so damn badly.

---

_Rude did this funny little jerk thing before he stood up very straight. Although he was standing perfectly still, his menacing aura flowed out of him almost like a damn geyser. The eyes behind those dark sunglasses were lit with fire and it was directed right at me. Well, at least that's what the burning sensation between my eyes was telling me._

"_Quit telling me what to fucking do!" I whispered back to him with as much irritation as I was feeling. "Just let me get the damn job done, you overgrown asshole!"_

_The next thing I knew, I was sitting flat on my ass with a bloody nose. I stared in shock at the crimson liquid flowing from the probably broken nose. It had been years since the last time someone had managed to get close enough to me to do that, and even longer since anyone had actually managed to break my nose. That motherfucker! _

"_I'm gonna kill you!" I screeched at him, completely forgetting that we were supposed to be doing a job. Quietly. _

"_I told you that the next time you said an obscenity, I would punch you."_

_He no longer spoke in a whisper, and about point two seconds later, the entire building's security system went off. The loud screeching noise pounded into my ears momentarily taking my mind off of the pain in my face. In no time at all, we were surrounded by a bunch of the bad guys. For the first time, Rude and me thought along the same lines._

"_Oh shit."_

_The biggest fight of my life took place, with blood flying (I'm not so sure we were supposed to hit the guys that hard) and shock waves snapping at us. I was honestly surprised and a teensy bit pleased that this big guy wasn't all talk and looks. He was good; I could totally appreciate his brutal fighting style since I wasn't on the receiving end this time._

_It seemed very strange to me what happened next. Both of us took out all the guards and went into the building with all caution thrown to the friggin' wind. People popped up, we got rid of them. It was just that easy. Of course there was the occasional "accident" and Rude would do the little twitch of death thing, but we sailed through the house and too soon, we had the guy safe, not unharmed, but alive. _

_Senior Turk Gotsem showed up and cursed under his breath as he saw the mess we made. He looked at both of us hard in his agitation, and Rude fidgeted with his gloves while I poked at my tender nose to test the damage there._

"_You idiots!! I've never seen anyone fail at the same time as passing before!"_

_I grinned. "We got the guy, yo! That's all there is."_

_He shook his head. "Reno, you killed Rude twenty three times, not including the eight times you pushed him into the path of a shot meant for you. Both of you managed to run into every single guard, and didn't particularly have any stealth. You took your dear sweet time almost letting the hostage die! And yet you guys still managed to get him out safely!! It's insane! And for the record, Reno, you didn't die once. You let your partner take all the hits!!!"_

"_Tch, grow some balls, man. 'S not that big of a deal. Ouch…you got me good didn't ya Rude…"_

_My eyes widened in surprise when a half cough, half laugh erupted from the big man. The Senior Turk seemed surprised too. He sighed heavily and shook his head._

"_Real life won't be so kind, you know. I hope you two understand that."_

"_Did we pass, yo?"_

_He nodded. "Good luck with the rest of your tests."_

_Rude turned to me and delivered a hard kick to my shin. _

"_Ow! Shi--, Shiva! What was that for?!"_

"_That's for killing me."_

_--- _

The guards at the front of the morgue let me in without a fuss, and I easily found my way to the back. I've been in here, the "Icebox", more times than is healthy for a person, but this time was different. I actually knew the body, in a very intimate way. My partner…

The coroner was preparing for the autopsy and smiled kindly when I walked in. He was a strange yet fairly nice guy. I couldn't really complain about him.

"Reno, I've got to get a new blade for my saw real quick. Would you be so kind as to watch the body?"

"I-it's not gonna r-run, ya know." I found it hard to get the words out. I was ashamed of trying to make a joke over Rude's body.

"Of course it won't, Reno. Thanks, I appreciate it."

He left me alone with the cold lifeless corpse. I stared at it intently, trying to see the fire, the strength that made Rude who he was. Where was the pent up raw power, or the kind heart that would get us into trouble, and that would get me out of trouble? I outstretched a shaking hand and gently touched his stiff fingers.

There was no warmth in that skin, no passion. He was gone, all of him. Everything that I had grown dependant on, like an addiction to drugs, was ripped away, and I had to deal with the pain all by myself. I leaned forward and kissed those lips.

"Goodbye my lover," I whispered clearly. "Goodbye my friend."

I fell to my knees before him, stripped of my strength. His no longer seeing eyes watched, as I was laid raw before him, completely stripped of my mask. I cried.

_Heartbeat, thumping…beating…then it's gone._

_Listening to the whispers of the dead, in my sleep they haunt my dreams._

_Why did you leave? I needed you._

I looked up and a chill settled in the pit of my stomach. Something wasn't right, my instincts were screaming, but before I could pull out my EMR, my hand froze. I heard terrible screaming, and at the same time a heavy feeling fell over my entire body. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, nothing. Even my breathing was forced and harsh. I heard the sickening sound of blood splattering and then silence. My eyes continued to stare at Rude's body as I tried my hardest to do something, anything. Then the footsteps came. The echo was clear and deliberate.

My body shook in terror as the unknown entity stopped directly behind me. A ragged breath was drawn and a raspy voice, one that had not been used in a long while spoke. By Odin, who the hell was that…

"Reno."

Simple, one word, and yet I've never been so scared in my entire life. I realized that the energy thrumming through me was a manipulate materia, but I've never felt one so strong before.

"Age, 32; profession, Second-in-Command of the Turks. Your lover was Rude, another member of the Turks, and also your partner in your legalized crimes. You don't deserve it, you know. Nothing. You who lived so long, who's luck never failed; why you? Who decided that fate should not touch you, yet everyone else should succumb to her tantalizing torment?"

I didn't understand what he was talking about. It was definitely a man's voice, but I couldn't see who he was!

"Fate has been cruel to me, and yet I stand here, in more agony than if she had decided to end my life in the cruelest way imaginable. Instead, I stand here, not alive, not dead, but existing. No more…I will have my way, now."

I felt my eyes drift close and my head fall back. Warm liquid dripped on my face. That smell was too familiar. I mentally cringed as the blood ran down my cheeks and neck. It was fresh, still warm, and I realized where those screams came from.

"I baptize you in the blood of your victims, Reno. May you see the light."

He forced my head to the ground, my forehead touching the cold tile. A thick object was pressed into my hand, and my fingers automatically clenched it. All I could do was lay there helplessly as I heard shuffling noises, and strange scraping. I didn't know how long I laid in that position, but after a bit I realized that I could move once more…and that he was gone.

I jumped up to my feet and nearly fell when I slipped in a puddle of fresh blood. My mouth gaped in shock when I stared at the table where Rude's body had been lying; instead of my lover, the coroner was sprawled across the steel surface his face frozen in utter horror. Across his chest in my handwriting a message was written, "Why? Because I am the Death Bringer."

I remembered the object he put in my hand and when I lifted it up, I nearly fainted. I was holding a specialty Turk issued knife covered in warm sticky blood. The murder weapon.

"R-reno?"

I wheeled around and came face to face with a very pale Tseng.

To be continued…..

**TADAAA!!! i hope you liked this. please review and let me know what you think! i really put a lot into this baby, and i hope it showed.**


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